My expectations almost ruined my photography! There, I admit it; I admit I had a problem. As the saying goes, though, admitting to a problem is only half the battle. The other half is taking steps to actually fix it. But, how did I get to the point of having a problem that needed to be fixed, and how have I gone about fixing it? Well, read on to find out.
Several months ago, I began to notice a rather disturbing feeling about my photography. I realized that it was becoming more and more common for me to come back from a photography outing feeling less than satisfied with the whole endeavor. I wasn’t happy with where I had gone. I wasn’t happy with my subjects. I certainly wasn’t happy about the images I had made. When I got home, my wife would ask me how I enjoyed the morning and if I got any nice pictures. My answer to both questions was almost always a somewhat dejected-sounding “I don’t know.”
I began to feel as if I was going out simply because I felt I should and, once I got out there, I was really just going through the motions. Let me be clear – photography is not my livelihood. I don’t in any way rely on photography to support my family, although generating a little extra income from it would certainly be an added bonus. Photography is my hobby, and hobbies are supposed to be fun. But, I really wasn’t having that much fun.
The question was why. I didn’t mind getting up at 3:00 in the morning and driving two-and-a-half hours to get to a location before the sun came up. In fact, I was so eager to get out there that I often had difficulty sleeping the night before. Once I was there, though, it seemed my motivation would begin to wane, and it wouldn’t be very long before I was heading home. What was the problem; why wasn’t I having fun?
As I reflected on this, an answer began to develop. It was vague at first, but it soon became more definitive. It didn’t have anything to do with where I was photographing or what I was photographing or when I was photographing. It boiled down to my own unrealistic expectations and the pressure I was putting on myself to meet those expectations. Simply put, I had convinced myself that not only was I supposed to create images every time I went out but they also had to be amazing. Not only that, but if I didn’t meet that extremely high expectation, I considered the trip a failure and a waste of my time. Now, how’s that for trying to have fun?
I decided I needed to quit letting the results determine my level of enjoyment. In fact, I needed to quit worrying about the results at all and just start enjoying my time outdoors. The problem was I then had to figure out how to do that. Then, something else occurred to me. Every time I went out, I always carried my tripod. . .literally, in my hand. Could that simple act be unconsciously influencing me in some way?
I wasn’t sure, but I was about to find out. When I recently purchased a new camera backpack, one of the features I was looking for was that it was big enough and sturdy enough to allow me to attach my tripod to it so I could keep my hands free.
About six weeks ago, I visited the Buffalo River with my new backpack. I did two things when I arrived: I strapped my tripod to the backpack, and I continually reminded myself that I was there simply to enjoy being outdoors. Good images, if I got any, were going to be a by-product. I came home from that trip with 20 images and processed three of them. Normally, I would find that to be a disappointing result. But, this time, I was not only pleased with the outcome but I also had a very enjoyable time, which is something I couldn’t claim on very many of my previous outings.
I wanted to make sure this wasn’t just a fluke, so the following week I visited Blanchard Springs. Again, I didn’t create very many images, but I had a lot of fun just being outside even if it was far colder that morning than I had planned for. I followed the same approach the week after when I went to Mt. Magazine State Park and then to Crowley’s Ridge State Park. On each trip, the results were the same – I had enjoyed the time outside, created some nice images, and felt happy with how everything had gone.
But, I started to wonder if this was really a reasonable approach to my photography, or was it just the short-term effect of trying something new that would eventually wear off similar to the feeling one gets after purchasing a new camera or lens. Could it really be as “easy” as keeping my expectations from getting too high?
Then, I received a short newsletter by photographer Thomas Heaton entitled “Images Don’t Need to be Perfect & How I’m Changing My Ways.” In the newsletter, he talked about expectations in photography, and some of his comments really struck home for me:
“The best way to enjoy your photography is to lower your expectations. . .If you pack your bag with the goal of going for a nice walk and experimenting with a few different compositions, your expectations will always be met and more often than not, they will be exceeded. You will be a much happier photographer.”
In just a few sentences, he not only expressed exactly what my struggle was but also validated my solution to the problem.
Holding myself to high and completely unrealistic expectations almost ruined my photography. Fortunately, I was able to catch it in time before any real damage was done. But, if you ever begin to feel this way, keep Thomas’s advice in mind: go for a nice walk, keep your expectations low, and enjoy the opportunity to be outdoors.